I am a relationship girl. I learn to forgive people, I learn to forget people and I learn to move on. I move from relationship to relationship and I’ve never given myself enough time to enjoy someone’s company.
I like being in a relationship. Sometimes I think I like that more than I actually like the person whom I’m in that relationship with. I like being in love and I like orbiting around a person in my life. I like the last phone call before I fall asleep and I like the text messages I read in the mornings. I like telling people that I have a boyfriend, and I like those guaranteed presents on Valentine’s day. I like being hurt and I like the tears after horrible breakups. I like to see myself getting back on my feet and find someone better.
I date random guys. I used to have a checklist which I used as an evaluation when I first met a guy. But then it never worked out, because I don’t think there will be a person who meets all the criteria on my list. So I started dating random people, and I have random relationships because I was too scared to be the “single girl”, the “girl without a date” and the “loner”.
But I forget that I need to learn how to be by myself, and I need to learn how to be a loner. After my last relationship, my mom spent hours talking to me on the phone. I hate talking about relationships with my mom because she is so protective and her previous divorce experience makes her doubt all the guys around me. But she told me that I need to know how to enjoy loneliness, and I thought she was out of her mind at the moment. After couple days, couple weeks, I started to understand what my mom really meant. I need to give myself more time to figure out what I really want from a relationship and what I really want from him. If I don’t figure these out and jump straight into a relationship, I will never be truly happy. If I am only in a relationship just to be in one, it’ll never work out and I’ll never have the fairy tale ending.
Don’t be scared to be single because it gives you a chance to be available when the right person comes along.
Love,
Perri
